2) Why do you hate Jared Fogle? He had sexual relations with my sandwich when I wasn't looking, and then I ate it.
3) Is Jared the devil? Yes, he appears in my dreams at night and tells me to have sexual relations with Macaulay Culkin, steal his money and burn down his house.
4) Do you like sandwiches? As long as it isn't a Jared-Amanda-Macaulay sandwich. Or if Jared didn't have sexual relations with it and it tastes good.
5) If you met Jared in a deserted alley, how would you assault him and with what? Two words: my penis