2) Why do you hate Jared Fogle? He’s more annoying than Jack from Jack in the Box and that smile freaks me out. I mean Jesus fucking Christ...can he not close his goddamn mouth...EVER?
3) Is Jared the devil? No. And I’ll tell you why. I’m an English literature major and I’ve read many concepts of the Devil. Take “Faust” and “Paradise Lost.” I won’t go into full details, but Goethe and Milton both gave the Dark Prince likeable characteristics. Jared Fogle has no likeable traits.
4) Do you like sandwiches? I can’t let Fogle win. I will eat sandwiches, that is in the platonic sense, but not from Subway.
5) If you met Jared in a deserted alley, how would you assault him and with what? I would strangle him with barbed wire, piss on his twitching body and kick him the kidney, leaving him in the cold to die.